Sad News....Again!

To say this past year has been "tough" would be an understatement! Last Thursday Ryan and I found out I was pregnant, again (this WAS number 4 pregnancy)! We were both excited but EXTREMELY scared for another miscarriage. Unfortunately I started to miscarry AGAIN on Monday for the third time in a row after two years of trying. It has been so incredibly frustrating but honestly, I feel kind of relieved. I feel like now the doctors will believe me when I tell them that something is WRONG. You have to have three miscarriages in a row before most doctors will test you for any abnormalities. I have known from the beginning that something is wrong but it is so hard when they keep telling you, "No, it is just bad luck." "You've had one LIVE birth, so just keep on trying." "Third time is a charm!"
I am very grateful for my doctor's office and their prices but it is just so darn frustrating! After I am done with the miscarriage I will get some blood work done and hopefully can figure out what is going on within the next few weeks. I know Heavenly Father is watching over us, and we could not have survived these past years without the Gospel and its many blessings. Knowing that I will get to see those little spirits that couldn't make it down here yet has kept me going. I (and the doctor's) have so many speculations as to what is going on with my body and the latest one is a blood clotting disorder that is sending blood clots to the baby, making it unable to survive, basically my body fights against the baby like it is a disease. (Interestingly enough, my mom has the same condition and it developed with her last pregnancy)
Emma is so wonderfully patient with me when I miscarry. In fact when I found out I was miscarrying again, Emma said, "Mommy crying again, go to the doctor again?" (Her new word is "again") She knows that when I cry like that it usually means I have to go to the doctor again, smart little girl. It made me realize that she is connecting things and that I have spent too much time feeling sorry for myself and not enough time enjoying her wonderful personality and loving my wonderful husband. Ryan is so good to me, and is so patient. His testimony is so strong and I know that whatever happens, we will get though it together.
As I was going through my head what the possible outcome of all of this could be, I decided right then and there that if it came down to not ever being able to carry a baby again, I would be fine. I wouldn't ever want to do in-vitro, not just because of the cost but for the amount of money we would have to pay, we could adopt 2 or 3 children that would be ours just the same. We have one beautiful daughter and someday we will have more. We (mainly me) need to rely on Heavenly Father and say "thy will be done." because HE really knows what is best for us and our family!

Fall Festival Party

Last Friday night we had our Fall Festival Party and we had to paint potatoes. Well I showed you Emma's and I's but I didn't show you Ryan's. He ended up making a bat and it turned out really cute. The party was so fun and they made Emma into a little "sweet potato." We had so much fun and really love our ward.


"Sweet Potato"


Emma losing a potato bag race.


Emma and her friends, Elise on the left and Evie on the right.


Our cute little famly and our awesome potatoes!

Here they are!

Saturday night we went and picked out our pumpkins (amidst a hail storm) to carve. I made homemade apple cider, cooked some Papa Murphy's pizza and we were off! Emma had so much fun cleaning out her pumpkin, and I was really surprised that it didn't gross her out. Every year while we lived in Idaho we spent a night with the Erickson clan carving pumpkins and Dad Erickson would judge whose was the best. So this year we want to be included in the contest. Ryan's pumpkin was the skull and mine was the cat and spider in the window. Ryan, Emma and I had so much fun carving our pumpkins (Emma painted her's)so you get to decide whose is the best.


My pumpkin is on the left, Ryan's on the right.


Mine, Emma's beautiful pumpkin, and Ryan's.


Emma cleaning out her pumpkin.


Emma called these her "pretty baby pumpkins."

New shoes

Emma wanted the "computer" to see her new shoes. She is such a cute little girl, infact we think she is the cutest ever! The problem is, she knows that she is stinkin' cute. After I finished her hair she looked in the mirror and said, "I am so beautiful mom!"

Painting Potatoes!

Our ward "Fall Festival" party is tonight and they asked everyone to decorate a potato and bring it to be judged (The judges will be the Primary presidency, and Ryan already tried to convince me to vote for his). Emma and I decorated our potatoes today and boy did Emma have fun! We went and picked out paint for her potato (and her pumpkin for tomorrow night)and she wanted her potato to be a pumpkin. (Go figure :) Well we started with orange and covered the whole thing. It was torture for her to wait until it was dry. Then she picked all of her colors and painted her beautiful potato! Can you tell which one is hers?

Witch Treats!

Our Primary Program is this coming Sunday, and so I decided to make treats for all of the kids since they have worked so hard on the songs and their parts. I searched and searched for some cute little Halloween treat and found these, witch brooms and hats. They turned out so cute! I found them on www.halloweentreats.com , so you will have to check them out. It was quite the job fixing them all and putting them in their little baggies, b ut I hope the kids will like them. Ryan came up with the saying attached to the baggies, "We couldn't decide "witch" one of you sang the loudest. You did awesome! love, The Primary Presidency" Pretty cute!

Here they are before the packaging.

Packaged and ready to go!

Zoey the Fairy Princess!

My sister, Shantel's little girl, Zoey, is going to be a fairy for Halloween. I think she looks so cute and had to put it up!

The NEW Incredible!

Emma wanted to be an "Incredible" for Halloween. I found her costume on Ebay and she loves it! We went to Halloween night at the Dinosaur Park and the kids could dress up. The other little boywe went with dressed up as a biker and Emma was "Incredibles." She it so cute and I just hope she still likes it when it is time to really wear it!

Conference Weekend!

My parents came down to visit us for conference weekend. It was so much fun! We all had tickets for Saturday Morning Session, and despite leaving late, driving through the snow storm, waiting in line, waiting for Ryan and my Dad to catch up with us, we made it! My dad, brother, and I had never been to conference before, so it was a really neat experience. Ryan and I had tickets on the terrace smack dab in the middle, which was great and my parents and brother had tickets on the balcony way over in the corner :( After we arrived back at our place we had some more family come and visit. It was so much fun. I do have to give it up for my mom. She had had surgery on the bottom of her foot just 3 weeks before, and had to limp around everywhere. She was a trooper! Emma had so much fun with Grandma and Grandpa, but like always cried and cried when they had to leave Sunday. In fact, when Emma woke up monday morning she kept asking where Grandma was hiding. She is too cute! Thanks Mom, Dad, Luke, Jason, Tim, Sarah and baby Alison for visiting us! We miss you guys!

Pretty Princess!

I love exercising! (Well most of the time) On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday a couple other mommies from our ward and I go walking. We usually walk anywhere between 2 1/2 to 3 miles each day! I have missed the last few times and so I decided that I need to get back out there. Emma especially loves it, because she gets to ride along next to her friends Elise and Autumn. As I bundled Emma up this morning (it was only 45 degrees, brrrrr!) she asked me if she could be a princess today. I said sure, not knowing what this was going to entail. Well, Emma proceeded to dig though her dress up basket and pulled out her "princess dress" and wanted to wear it to the park. So like any mommy would do to avoid a temper tantrum, I said sure! It was too funny not to take a picture, and she was so excited. Jax, the new kitty, especially enjoyed the skirt because it was so fun to chase!